Post-Apocalyptic Girl Scout Brownie Badges

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Every Brownie knows that a sense of adventure combined with a commitment to personal growth will help them on their journeys toward becoming courageous leaders in their communities and beyond. Earning badges has been a fun and engaging way for Girl Scouts to make their journeys fulfilling and for them to learn new skills, find their passions, and explore their interests since the days of the earliest troops. Now, as communities around the world rebuild amongst the ashes of fallen global empires, Brownies have the opportunity to show the world that they have the strength and desire to continue to live by the Girl Scout Law by any means necessary. These progressive new badges can be earned by Brownies who refuse to let the end of the civilization as we know it crush their will to lead, dream, and change the world.

Bullseye

Brownies who know their way around a firearm can earn this badge if their shooting skills ensure that they, and the other members of their nomadic communities when applicable, never go hungry.

The Plug

Staying clean while menstruating during a nuclear winter can be a challenge. Brownies who develop or invent sustainable sanitary products for menstruating survivors will earn this badge.

Guardian

For the Brownie whose PTSD-induced insomnia transforms them into a hyper-vigilant, round-the-clock security guard, this badge proves your worth as a protector.

MasterChef Junior

Brownies with the skill to turn one or two fresh corpses into a four course meal for twelve can earn this badge and win bragging rights for years, or whatever new nomenclature global survivors come up with to describe the passage of time, to come.

Morning Glory

Only Brownies with an eye for properly identifying wild hallucinogens, thereby offering their fellow travelers with an opportunity to temporarily escape the horror and misery of post-apocalyptic existence, can earn this badge.

Basically Jesus

If you’re a Brownie with a knack for carpentry, earning this badge will solidify within your heart what you already knew: the way you build outhouses is God-like.

Jonestown

Brownies with endless charm and leadership skills can earn this badge after the successful orchestration of at least two events during which thirty or more participant-survivors do exactly what you tell them for at least one week.

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